Butterfly

The butterfly hatched from his cocoon yesterday.  No, I didn't have anything to do with him breaking free even though I was impatiently waiting for his timing.  I honestly questioned though since he was taking so long that maybe there wasn't life inside the cocoon.

Well, I was wrong.  He is alive and he is beautiful.  Not sure why I call it a "he" but I do.

I looked inside the jar on Monday morning and saw the lonesome cocoon still hanging on.  Then after institute class I came home to find him flapping his wings inside this small jar on my counter.  I find it simply amazing how Heavenly Father through this cocoon was teaching me how our trials and adversities are necessary for our growth.

"Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass through us in ways that sanctify us."

--Elder Neil A Maxwell

Once, I finally understood the concept of adversity and wrote about it, then it was time for the butterfly to be free from the cocoon that kept him bound.  How amazing is His timing and how wonderful Heavenly Father teaches us.

I kept the butterfly in the little container until the girls came home from school so they could see him.  Then we took him outside to set him free.  However, he wasn't too anxious to be out on his own.  He clung to Tara for quite sometime.  He would fly a short distance and land.  Only to be picked up again by someone who wanted to hold him.  After some time the girls decided to leave him alone and they ventured off to another task.

Periodically throughout the evening I would step outside to check to see if he found enough strength and courage to fly higher and farther out from the comfort of our back yard.  He was still in the same place where he last landed.

Last night after dark my motherly instinct kicked in and I was worried about the freezing weather that was expected to hit and wondered if he could survive.  Really?  Like butterflies don't live outside in all kinds of temperatures.  Yet, I felt deep ownership and responsibility to ensure he had the best possible chance at life.

So I decided if he was still in the same spot by the time I went to bed I would bring him in out of the cold and set him free again tomorrow when it warms up during the day.  And sure enough, he was still perched on the same bush in the corner of our yard.

I created a bigger and better home for him out of the largest glass vase I own.  Dallin helped me look up what to feed him. I made some sugar water and placed it in a small dish.  Then, I went outside to retrieve him.  He quickly grasped onto my finger without reservation.  I carefully placed him in his new environment.  He immediately stuck out his really, really long tongue and started drinking the sugar water.  There he sat drinking for what seemed like an hour.  I wondered if I put too much sugar in and so his tongue was stuck.  But, he eventually had enough to eat and moved on to rest on the leaf.

And so did I.  I headed to bed and dreamed about starting a butterfly sanctuary in my back yard.

Today, I waited until mid day with plenty of sunshine to take him back outside.  He wasn't in any hurry to leave my hand.  So I flapped my arm up and down so he could feel the wind beneath his wings giving him encouragement to set off on a new adventure.

And he eventually spread his wings and took flight!

The Cocoons of Adversity

Over a month ago my sister in law, Mashell, saw two caterpillars sitting on a branch of a small tree near her home.  They were munching away at some fresh leaves.  In hopes of catching the metamorphosis process of the caterpillars, she broke off that section of the branch and placed it inside a glass jar.  She lovingly placed water and more leaves inside the jar then poked holes in the lid for them to breathe.

Within a week, sure enough one of the caterpillars started turning this brown ugly looking color and Mashell was certain it was probably dying.  Shortly after the discoloration of the one she noticed the second one had made a beautiful pale green cocoon around itself. 

After a week she wonderfully witnessed the brown ugly cocoon starting to break open.  The struggle to break free was apparent and to her surprise a big beautiful butterfly appeared.  Her and her daughter watched it for a short time inside the small jar and then decided to set it free.  She placed it on a branch outside their home where it stood for quite some time before it took flight.

Because Mashell has such a sweet heart, she gave us the jar with the second cocoon in hopes that we could also witness the wonderful transformation that they had.

That was two weeks ago and the jar still sits by my kitchen sink with the green cocoon still clinging to the wilted and dead branch within. 

I peak at it daily wondering if it will ever break free.  I have considered opening the jar and cracking the cocoon oh so slightly hoping to give that struggling butterfly a head start to its new life.  I am just that impatient that I would do such a thing.

Then I remembered a story I was once told of someone who watched a moth go through the struggle to free itself.  In an effort to help she snipped the shell of the cocoon.  Soon the moth came out with its wings all crimped and shriveled.  But as the person watched, the wings remained weak.  The moth, which in a few moments would have stretched those wings to fly, was now doomed to crawling out its brief life in frustration of ever being the beautiful creature Heavenly Father created it to be.

What the person in the story did not realize was that the struggle to emerge from the cocoon was an essential part of developing the muscle system of the moth’s body and pushing the body fluids out into the wings to expand them.  By unwisely seeking to cut short the moth’s struggle, the watcher had actually crippled the moth and doomed its existence.

The adversities of life are much like the cocoons of the moth and butterflies.  Heavenly Father uses them to develop the spiritual “muscle system” of our lives. 

There is a quote that goes something like this:  “The testing of your faith through trials of many kinds develops perseverance and perseverance leads to maturity of our character.”

We may think we have true Christian love until someone offends us or treats us unjustly.  Then we begin to feel anger and resentment build up within us.  We may conclude we have learned about genuine joy until our lives are shattered by an unexpected event or disappointment.  Adversities spoil our peace and try our patience.  Heavenly Father uses those difficulties to reveal to us our need to grow, so that we will reach out to Him to change us more and more into the likeness of His Son.

However, we have a tendency to shrink from adversity.  To use the terms from the moth story, we want Heavenly Father to snip the cocoon of adversity we often find ourselves in and release us.  But just as Heavenly Father has more wisdom and love for the moth than it’s viewer did, so He has more wisdom and love for us than we do for ourselves.  He will not remove the adversity until we have profited from it and developed in whatever way He intended in bringing or allowing it into our lives.

Our life is intended to be one of continuous growth.  We all want to grow, but we often resist the process.  This is because we tend to focus on the events of adversity themselves, rather than looking with faith beyond the events to what Heavenly Father is doing in our lives.

Heavenly Father cannot fail in His purpose for adversity in our lives.  He will accomplish that which He intends.  Those truths bring great encouragement to me.  Most times I do fail to respond positively to difficulties.  Yet, I know my failure does not mean Heavenly Father has failed.  By admitting my failure, He is helping me grow in humility.  That may have been His intentions all along.

Where does your faith lie?

I have been struggling.  Struggling because I took a beautiful plan of Heavenly Father’s and made it my own.

I am grateful for the inspiration that Heavenly Father gave me a couple weeks ago in the temple, that this trial of Dad suffering with cancer is a test of our faith. 

I have had to ask myself these questions?  Is my faith strong enough to know with certainty that Jesus Christ CAN remove the cancer and stop the suffering?  I have read and know of the many miracles of such recoveries during Christ’s ministry on earth.  I believe there is enough proof written in scriptures that He CAN heal ALL wounds.  Do I believe Christ removed Dad’s cancer before or was it the doctors?  Was the Lord providing proof in His power more personal to me than in scripture stories?  Yet, I thought faith doesn't need proof?  Was He strengthening my faith through the previous episodes for this greater trial?  Is my faith strong enough to trust in God’s plan that Dad may not survive this time?

Heavenly Father asked me to enlist the faith of my entire family as our father suffers through cancer. I believed that meant that since Heavenly Father gave me that inspiration that He was expecting me to help each of my family members to have greater faith.  I admit that has caused me to suffer. 

I questioned my ability.  I questioned why me?  I questioned how and where to begin?  I feared I wouldn't be able to teach about faith when it’s obvious I have failed teaching my own children.

Therefore, because of fear, I have hid myself. 

After much praying and fasting asking Heavenly Father what He wants me to do, today it became clear that my faith has been in the wrong person.  Listen to my questions?  They are all about ME!  My faith was centered selfishly on what I should, could, would do to bring our family together and help our father. 

I took Heavenly Father’s beautiful plan that through this trial of our faith we would each have an opportunity to turn to Him and trust in Him for peace and comfort and instead I made it personal about me.

I CAN’T strengthen your faith.  I CAN’T force anyone to trust in the Lord during difficult times.  I can’t!  Yet, I know WHO can and I still forget.

The funny and embarrassing thing is I know you weren't asking me to and I now know that Heavenly Father wasn't asking me to either.  

I think the Lord gives us our agency to rely on someone else’s faith or even our own strengths for a period of time during our lives, yet there comes a time when we need to establish our own personal and individual faith in Jesus Christ.  And Heavenly Father gives us trials to test where our faith lies?  Our time is now!  Who do you have faith in?