Be Ye Converted

I gave a talk in church today.  A sister came up to me after church and said "I hope you have written down all that you shared today and you had better share that with all your children and extended family." Therefore, I decided to post my talk on my blog to share with my family.

I have been asked to speak on the topic of conversion.  I was given the talk Be Ye Converted By Bonnie L. Oscarson newly called Young Women General President and this was a talk given by her at the October 2013 General Conference.

Her title:  True conversion occurs as you continue to act upon the doctrines you know are true and keep the commandments, day after day, month after month.

I don’t know about you, but I remember conference talks by the stories that are told.  If I can recall the story then I can usually remember what the meat of their talk was about.

In Sister Oscarson’s talk you may remember the conversion story that she shared.  Agnes Hoggan and her husband joined the church in Scotland in 1861.  Suffering great persecution in their homeland, they immigrated to America with their children.  Several years later, Agnes became a widow with eight children to support.  Her 12-year old daughter, Isabelle, was lucky enough to find employment as a servant to a wealthy, non-lds family.

Isabelle lived in their large home and helped look after their younger children.  In exchange for her services, a small wage was paid each week to her mother.  Isabelle was soon accepted as a member of the family and began to enjoy many of the same privileges of being wealthy. This continued for four years, until the family for whom Isabelle worked was transferred to another state.   They had grown so fond of Isabelle that they approached her mother, Agnes, and asked for permission to legally adopt her.  They promised they would provide her with a good education, see that she married well, and make her an heir to their estate with their own children.  They would also continue to make payments to Agnes.

This struggling widow and mother had a hard decision to make, But she did not hesitate for a moment.  Here are the words of her granddaughter, written many years later.  “If her love had not compelled her to say no, she had an even better reason – she had come all the way from Scotland and had gone through tribulations and trials for the Gospel, and she did not intend to let a child of hers lose what she had come so far to gain”. 

This mother’s testimony and conversion to Gospel covenants did not allow her to trade her daughter’s membership in the church for worldly promises.

Sister Oscarson teaches us “The decisions which you are called upon to make on a daily, or even hourly basis have eternal consequences.  The decisions you make in your daily life will determine what happens to you later. 

THEN COMES HER INVITATION:  “If you do not yet have a firmly rooted testimony and conviction that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the Kingdom of God on the earth, now is the time to do what it take to gain that conviction.

“True conversion is more than merely having a knowledge of gospel principles and implies even more than just having a testimony of those principles.  Being truly converted means we are acting upon what we believe and allowing it to create “a mighty change in us”.

When you hear what it means to be truly converted, do you ask yourself “Am I truly converted?”  

“If I am supposed to act on what I believe, what exactly do I believe?"

"Or rather should we ask ourselves in Whom do I believe and do I trust Him enough to allow Him to make changes in my life that will ultimately change who I become?”

“Do I want to be MORE than I am right now?”  

These are all questions that I asked myself weekly even daily at times.

Conversion includes a conscious decision to give up one’s former ways to accept and conform to the Will of God.  This isn’t merely a change in our behavior it is a change in our very nature. Complete conversion comes after many trials and much testing. 

Conversion comes as a result of righteous efforts to follow the Savior and become a disciple of Christ.

The first step on the pathway to discipleship requires us to make a choice.  Either we can remain in the place where we are, or we can become something more.  This choice requires great courage.  I am reminded of Alma, who experienced a change of heart after listening to the testimony of Abinadi.  After pleading with the king to save Abinadi, Alma fled for his life.  In that instant everything changes.  He had come to know the Lord, and through that personal experience he came to understand that he was meant for more.  That knowledge led to a journey that changed the course of his life.  From Alma we learn that the first step toward discipleship is to make a conscious choice to know the Lord, believe that through Him we can become more.

I remember coming to a crossroad in my life and I had to make a choice.

There have been times when I’ve been very unhappy with my life.  Although my life is full of many good things, I was disappointed and disillusioned with what wasn’t happening in my life.  I was frustrated and resentful which caused me to be angry or depressed most of the time.  Desiring an outcome for our lives but doing nothing about it results in discouragement and disappointment.

Despite efforts to fill my days and nights with service to my family, the church and community there was an ache for something more.  I was going through the motions in every aspect of my life rather than really living and believing there was something more I could be. 

For me, it came down to recognizing my alternatives.  Things could stay as they were.  I had to ask myself, “how is that working for me?”  We have to remember what our loving Father in Heaven’s plan is for us.  He doesn’t want us to live in fear, pain and frustration.  No, He wants us to experience joy and happiness in this life.

The other alternative I had was that things could get worse and separation would be necessary.  I didn’t like how I behaved at home.  I was hurting the people I loved the most.  When thoughts of separation would enter my mind, they were overcome by a memory of the covenants I made in the temple and I did not want to be responsible for breaking the eternal family covenant.  So separation was not an option for me.

So the only other alternative was to change myself.  The desire to learn and the ability to apply healthy behavior was necessary.  But, I didn’t know where to start. 

There was a scripture that kept coming to my mind.  It’s found in Matthew 11:28

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am Meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Christ’s voice had been beckoning me.  I was just too prideful and too stubborn to submit.   I had been “doing” the gospel, and “doing” my family and “doing” my marriage without much inspiration or feeling.  I had been so busy DOING righteous things that I had failed to BECOME righteous.

Eventually, I gave it up.  I realized I could no longer “do” everything and “be” everything for everyone.  I laid down that yoke of perfect “doing” with a broken heart, realizing that I had failed.

We each face breaking points that humble us.  Ideally, those breaking points will draw us to our knees with a willingness to make changes in our lives.  My vulnerability brought me to my knees. 

At this time of my life I really asked myself, “so where is God?”  “Is He even there?”  I finally decided to pray to find out, “God, are you there?”

No answer came!  I wasn’t feeling any sense of the Holy Ghost.  NO bright lights, no burning feelings, nothing.  I got up off my knees feeling foolish and defeated.  I had learned to deal with feelings of being punished by God, but this felt different.  This was abandonment.  It was a very humbling experience to feel so utterly alone.

Several days later, a friend of mine invited me to attend an institute class with her.  I learned firsthand that when we are humble, contrite and broken hearted, we are teachable.  I felt every lesson was meant for me.  I was hearing the same gospel principles that I’d heard all my life, but this time it was different.  This time I was receiving it.  I was feeling the Holy Ghost testifying of the truthfulness of what I was hearing.  I learned a great deal about the Savior.  And I realized that I really didn’t know Him nor did I have a personal relationship with Him.

I remember having discussions on the subject of Faith in Christ.  We were asked the question, “How can we increase our faith in Christ?” The comments from the group were leaning towards “keep the commandments” and “reading the scriptures”, which are true faith builders, but to me at the time suggested that Christ is only involved in our lives when we’re relatively perfect, which I wasn’t even close.

Yet, I soon came to know that Christ isn’t in our lives to just minister to the whole, and the saved, but to those who are struggling and lost and at a loss as to how to proceed forward. 

To have faith in Christ we must first understand who Christ is, and where He is.  I don’t mean, that he is in heaven.  I mean, where He is in the barren fields of our own lives - our day to day existence.  We cannot have faith in something that is nonexistent or not active in their lives.  If you don’t know how Christ interacts with you, what His voice sounds like, how to receive answers to your prayers, or even how He answers them, then just having a concept of Christ will not be profoundly life changing, and you have very little to make your faith operate.

When you realize that Christ is the literal source of all truth, and that you hear His voice constantly in your life – first as your conscience, then further on as the powerful workings of the Holy Ghost, then you suddenly know where Christ is, what He’s doing, and how to become a disciple.

When you become aware and accept that this little voice of truth that has been niggling at you all your life is actually your Savior attempting to direct you into salvation, then you have in a very real way, “Come Unto Christ.”

I will never forget the feeling I had when the teacher bore testimony that Heavenly Father knew me personally and loved me personally.  I started to recognize that this was a new and living God.  I had, up until that point, believed in my father’s God, my mother’s God and my husband’s God. 

I knew I needed to gain my own individual personal testimony of the one and only true God and make Him mine.

Thus began the process of allowing God in His mercy to shatter the false images I had created of Him in my subconscious mind.  And it has been a process; an ongoing and continual process because I’m still learning and gaining knowledge about God, the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ and how He speaks to me through the Holy Ghost. 

You might be asking, “Why didn’t Heavenly Father answer me the nights I prayed asking Him if He was there?

If He had, would I have ever studied, prayed, served, and learned as much as I have?  If He had, I would have went on believing He was the same God I had falsely created Him to be.  He had to disconnect me from my idols and shatter the false image so I could learn who He truly is.

When we make this transition of giving up our false gods for the True God, we experience a change of identity.

I had up to that point believed I had to earn His love, earn His attention and earn His approval.  No, that’s not true.  Now I am learning of His perfect love, acceptance and approval of me.

Brad Wilcox said in his book Continuous Conversion and I completely agree, “True conversion occurs when we stop trying to earn heaven and start trying to learn it.

God’s delays are not always denials.  He tests our faith, but by doing so He educates it.  A God who asks nothing of us is making nothing of us, and that is not the case.  He created us to become like Him.”

My goal is to become like Christ.  I learn how to become like Christ by reading my scriptures, attending church, praying and doing good works.  I know when we hear those lists of “to dos” and we’re not doing them perfectly, it’s hard not to get discouraged and be tempted to give up.  Just remember, Heavenly Father doesn’t judge us by what we have done or haven’t done like they balance on a scale.  I believe Heavenly Father cherishes us for what He created us to BECOME and what we’ve learned along the journey to get there.

Over the course of several years, I have learned to take upon myself Christ’s yoke through obeying His voice, and I have learned to serve Him instead of myself and anyone else.

And guess what?  He tells me to get up each morning and go to work, just as before.  But now I go in His name, with His guidance, and it is a joy instead of drudgery. 

I don’t remotely claim to be perfect in anything – only striving obedience, or as obedient as my ongoing weaknesses and  imperfections allow. 

The Kingdom of God in Heaven is not a prize for the perfect, but the home of all who are willing to be perfected.

We are ALL favored children of a living, loving Heavenly Father.  We don’t EARN His favoritism by reading our scriptures, praying and serving.  By willingly and actively doing those things we LEARN just how favored we, the covenanted promised children already are.

The Lord has provided tangible ways for us to be connected to Him each day.  The Scriptures are one of those ways.  It’s not enough to merely breeze through the scriptures and check scripture study off our daily list, we must read with the intent to do something about what we learn.

Membership in His church alone doesn’t make us Disciples of Christ.  Discipleship is a personal quest and relationship with Jesus Christ and the Father developed through desire, obedience, and hungering and thirsting after them.  Membership surrounds us with truths, but it doesn’t make us receive them.  To actually “receive the truth” we must seek it out through diligent study, prayer and obedience.  

Christ leaves it to us to answer his invitation to come to Him with all our hearts.  But as our awareness of his reality increases – when we live the law of his covenant – I testify to you that we can experience the peaceful, healing influence of His Spirit.  Christ “pours out his spirit” on us insofar as we are willing to receive it.

It is my experience that in the act of service, in the act of fulfilling our duty, this is where the greater light and knowledge comes.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only true and living church on the earth.  It is not the only place where truth or Christ or faith or hope is found.  It is just the greatest of such places.  It holds the authority and the priesthood keys and is the only place that does.  It has within its doctrine, ordinances and structure everything that is necessary for every blessing mankind can see in mortality or in eternity.  We have a prophet selected by the Savior Himself.  This church has it all.

If you happen to be somebody who wonders; if you happen to be somebody who is experiencing doubt about the church or about the gospel or even about yourself;  THIS IS YOUR HOME!  You belong here with us, and you are badly wanted. 

I venture to say, that I think our bishopric desires a community of saints who are probing, who are discovering and who are testing their faith.  If you are finding doubts or asking questions, this is a safe and appropriate place to do that. 

I have certainly been in your shoes, doubting and questioning.  Yet, I decided a long time ago to live my life as if the gospel was true.  Here is the kicker:  that in the course of serving my family and fulfilling my church responsibilities, knowledge has in fact come.  The witness I sought has arrived.  Yet it has never come on my terms and never come to me on my timetable.  For me it has come in ways I can barely describe, and never on command. It simply came as a natural sequence of obedience.

I know with my whole heart that there is a living God in Heaven.  He is the Father of every soul who has ever or will ever come to earth.  I believe He is nearer than we imagine and He wants us to love Him with everything we have.

I know He sent His son, Jesus Christ, as a token of His love and as THE WAY to return to live in His presence.

The Savior is my strength.  I have experienced both His redeeming power and His enabling power.  I can testify that these powers are real and available to you.

I love the Holy Scriptures.  They are anchors to my soul.  They are healing.  They are powerful.  I thank those who gave everything they had so that I could hold them in my hands and read their inspired words.  They mean so much to me. 

I know that Jesus Christ will come again to this earth.  I look forward to that day and devote my life to being a disciple of Him.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.