The Truth Shall Set You Free

I have been reading once again the book, Bonds That Make Us Free by C. Terry Warner.  This is the third time I have read this book.  It is just that type of book that you need to read over and over again.  It’s that concept; if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  

Here is part of the description for the book so you have an idea why I have been guided to read it again.

“Bonds That Make Us Free is a ground-breaking book that suggests the remedy for our troubling emotions by addressing their root causes. You'll learn how, in ways we scarcely suspect, we are responsible for feelings like anger, envy, and insecurity that we have blamed on others.  Even though we fear to admit this, it is good news. If we produce these emotions, it falls within our power to stop them. But we have to understand our part in them far better than we do, and that is what this remarkable book teaches.”

I have an example and a direct answer to prayers regarding what I’m learning from this book.  I have been prompted to share this with you as recorded in my journal.

Maleah, our youngest daughter, has struggled to eat a well balanced meal from a very young age.  She loves to snack on “junk” food throughout the day, but when it comes to meal time she plays with her food, cutting it in tiny pieces spreading it all over her plate so it may look less than it was to begin with.  When we force her to try something, later I will find that she had spit it out in her napkin.  We feel she is being stubborn, defiant and quite possibly trying to make our lives difficult.

As parents we want our children to be healthy and strong.  We know eating a well balanced meal is the answer.  So you can imagine this has been a real struggle for us and we have tried just about any method suggested to us without success.  I am her mother, I prepare her food, and therefore, I am responsible, right?

I’ve exhausted my efforts and decided I was helpless to change the way Maleah is eating.  I have made it a matter of sincere, humble prayer to know what the Lord wants me to do to ensure Maleah is healthy. 

I am at the chapter in the book where it teaches about allowing people to become real to us changes our perspective and our attitude and behavior toward them.

Yesterday after dinner I was at the sink rinsing my plate.  Maleah was left at the table still attempting to eat.  Out of the blue Maleah asked me, “Mom, what is one thing you don’t like about yourself?”

I paused for a second in an utter stupor as to why she would ask that and what should be my response.  I had an answer come quickly because the thing I don’t like about myself has been forefront on my mind and hence the reading of this book for the third time.  I responded, “ the thing I don’t like about myself is how I treat dad and how I react to him”. 

Granted Boyd is out of town or I’m certain that would not have been my public response.

I didn’t see the reaction on Maleah’s face because out of sheer embarrassed and shame I didn’t look up from what I was doing. 

Shortly after I heard her voice, “the thing I don’t like about myself is that I can’t understand why I don’t like to eat”. 

I looked up from what I was doing and saw tears forming in her eyes.  My heart immediately felt a stir, a change, a softening.  It’s hard to describe.  I knew in that second I was looking at my daughter with new eyes.  She became real to me.

I immediately stopped doing dishes and I went to her.  She met me half way and threw herself into my arms hiding her tear streaked face in my shoulder. 

I can’t remember everything I said to her but I do remember telling her that I was sorry she felt that way and that I loved her very much regardless of whether she eats or not.  I told her “that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ know how you feel right now and they weep when you weep.  They want to help you overcome those things you don’t like about yourself.  How about in your personal prayers you ask Him what you should do to overcome your fear, anxiety or whatever it is that is stopping you from eating”. 

She really perked up when I mentioned that.  I continued to hold her and kiss her sweet cheek as my heart melted in my chest.

I had no idea that she had been struggling inside.  I had no idea that she didn’t like that about herself.  My eyes had been darkened and could only see her outside appearance as being rebellious and carefree.  Now I was free to see her more clearly.

I felt a new bond between us that was not there before.  By her opening up and being true and honest my heart was able to change and soften towards her.  What melted my heart was the sight of my daughter broken and contrite.  This image cracked the hardened shell of my self-concern for her.  It disrupted the certainty with which I had judged her.

When she became more real to me, I became a more “real” person – more open and responsive to her outside of myself being her mom. 

Seeing another’s helplessness and vulnerability can do this to us.  To realize that behind an indifferent or arrogant façade another person is struggling just to claim a place in the world, a place she does not really believe she deserves.  This blows our superior attitude to smithereens.

Reconsidering Maleah I could see how big a part I had played in any problems between us and that her part in them had depended heavily on mine.

In reality, we have plenty of opportunities that are able to soften and humble us and open our fearful, judgmental, hardened hearts.  Whether those realities have that effect depends upon our opening ourselves to them.

What softened my heart was not merely learning new information.  Information can affect us only to the extent that we allow it.  In order for the truth about a person to affect us, we must be receptive.  We must have eyes to see. 

I had been praying asking what I could do for her.  I opened my heart willing to receive and do whatever He asked of me.  He lovingly provided a way for me to see her as He sees her.  What I do with this new information is up to me.

All the willpower I could muster had failed to extinguish my accusations in my heart.  Yet the simple truth, something about her, set me FREE and I no longer retain hardness toward her any longer.

The new sight could humble me only because I allowed it to.  My own responsiveness to the Holy Ghost teaching me the truth is the critical factor.

Down Syndrome

Sunday evening a member of the Young Women’s presidency asked if I could come to the YW meeting on Wednesday and talk to the girls about Down Syndrome.  A 13 year old girl named Ferrah with Down  Syndrome recently moved into our ward.  She specifically asked if I could help the girls know how to act or to respond to Ferrah.  She is an active young lady during their meetings.

The next couple of days I prayed asking Heavenly Father what He wanted me to teach them about Down Syndrome.  Thoughts and impression immediately started coming to my mind.  They didn’t come directly as to what to tell the children to do and how to act around Ferrah.  Yet, bits and pieces of information about these special children’s spirit life came and then was followed by me pondering and asking more questions in prayer.

The main question that arose in my mind was why these children with handicaps don’t need to be baptized. Neither of my brothers with Down Syndrome were baptized.  I remember learning pretty young that it was not necessary.  Why was it not neccessary for them?  In the Second Book of Nephi Chapter 3, Nephi tells why Christ was baptized.  Men must follow Christ, be baptized, receive the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end to be saved.  Repentance and baptism are the gate to the strait and narrow path—Eternal life.

I put that together in my mind with the knowledge I had of when children pass away before the age of accountability they are ensured a place in the Celestial Kingdom.   It was not necessary for them to endure a full life of mortality on earth.  Why?

The more I thought and pondered on these question, the more I received.  At the temple on Tuesday it was difficult to focus on the movie as impression and ideas about these special children flooded my mind.

The impressions I received was that in the spirit world these children fulfilled all that was required of them.  If I understood the impressions correctly, basically, somehow, they fulfilled all the Lord’s commandments and covenants in the spirit world.  My mind phrased that to say, their election and promises were made sure in the spirit world.  They had a secure place among the Kingdom of God.  And mortality was not a crucial eternal step for them to accomplish.

From that thought my mind moved upon the idea that they were not allowed to come to earth in normal bodies like us because with their election made sure they would have a huge advantage over us.  The Lord wouldn’t have it that way.

Every spirit has a choice to accept a body and come to earth.  It is God’s plan that we learn and grown in mortality and through that learning process if done in righteous obedience we gain our eternal existence.  Yet, I was impressed to think that these special children somehow already gained their eternal existence without necessarily needing the mortal experiences to learn it. 

So I came to conclusion that these individuals who in all tense and purposes could have chosen to stay in the spirit world until the resurrection, willingly chose to still come to earth.  Why?  Because; They came for us!  They sacrificed and chose to come in less than perfect bodies because of their perfect love for Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and for us.

Having that information enter my mind and then my soul gave me a whole new perspective when I come in contact with a handicapped child.  I wish I had that knowledge when I was growing up in a home with two brothers with Down Syndrome.  Instead I admit I was often times embarrassed of them and remember walking 10 steps behind my family so people wouldn’t know I was associated with them.  I am so ashamed.

This was the answer to my prayers.  This is what the Lord wanted me to teach the group of girls who will each week have contact with Ferrah.  This is information I needed to know at their age.  What a pleasure to share this truth with them.

After I explained this new found truth to them I asked them, “what is the first commandment”.  “To love God” was the response from one girl.  I followed that with, “How do we show our love to Heavenly Father?”  They responded with all the right answer, “prayer, making good choices, going to church, reading our scriptures, keeping the commandments and serving.”

I told the girls of the story when the resurrected Christ came to Peter and several other disciples while they were fishing.  The fishermen were having no success catching fish.  Jesus told them to put their nets on a right side of the boat.  They obeyed and caught a multitude of fish.  They all went to the beach and had a fish fry and were fed temporally and spiritually by Jesus. 

Afterwards, Jesus asked Peter the same question three times.  “Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me?”  Peter responded each time with, “thou knowest that I love thee”.  Jesus counters back with, then “feed my sheep”. 

I then asked the girls what was Jesus asking Peter to do?  What does it mean to feed His sheep?  We came to the conclusion Jesus was telling Peter and He tells all of us to “Love and fellowship ALL of His children.”

At this point in the conversation with the girls I explained how when we show love, kindness and fellowship towards another that very act creates an opening in our hearts to then feel and receive God’s love for us.  

God’s love is real and constant.  I tried to make it clear to them, that we don’t EARN God’s love when we show love, kindness and fellowship to others.  We LEARN it!  Because when that spot in our heart is opened and we receive God’s love we are learning just how much He perfectly and unconditionally loves us.  We are being fed spiritual truths when we “feed” others.

It’s like when we pray and read our scriptures.  We don’t become favored of the Lord by doing those personal things.  What happens when we pray, read, and study is that we LEARN just how favored we already are and always have been by the Lord.  We don’t earn favoritism, we learn how favored we are as His precious child.

Interacting and accepting a relationship with an individual with special needs and the unique challenges that come with Down syndrome is a great opportunity to learn God’s love.  Certain aspects of His unconditional love can’t be learned any other way.  It is pretty easy to love a friend that thinks and acts pretty much the same as us.  It is a whole different story to love and accept a person who at times can be embarrassing, annoying, loud, hurtful and sometimes unresponsive to our gestures of kindness and love.  Imagine how much God’s love we can learn and feel by accepting this opportunity.

I told the girls, “It is not a mistake that Ferrah moved into our ward.  We all need to experience God’s perfect love.  What a blessing He has given us an opportunity to know Him through our interaction with Ferrah.  The choice is now ours to accept or reject this opportunity.”

“I wish I could tell you how to accept her, how to love her and how to react to her, but I can’t.  Yet I know who can tell you and show you.  Heavenly Father knows each and every one of you personally and He knows what type of love you are capable of learning and expressing.  He knows Ferrah and what she is capable of teaching us.  I invite you to pray and ask Heavenly Father what you can do to love and accept Ferrah?  Ask Him how you should react when Ferrah does things so differently than you?  The Holy Ghost is your constant companion and He will direct your thought, words and actions when you ask with a sincere heart willing to do all that He asks of you.  Of this I testify in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

As I was recording this in my journal I was prompted to read in John 21 the story of Jesus asking Peter, “lovest thou me?” again.  I had forgotten how right after this, Jesus foretells of Peter’s martyrdom.  And then after that He explains John’s translation.  I didn’t understand the verses 20-25.  So I went into some deeper study at gospeldoctrine.org and recalled that this was the disciple, John the Revelator, who had asked Jesus if he could stay on the earth so he could bring more souls unto Him.  John desired that he might do more, or a greater work yet among men than what he had before done.

This warmed my soul and once again confirmed that these special spirits like my brothers, Troy and David and Ferrah with Down Syndrome chose to come “tarry” on earth.  They could have chosen to stay in the spirit world, or even to come gain a body and leave this earth quickly.  Yet, they chose to come in less than perfect bodies so we could learn the true love of God.  They, like John, desired to do greater work among men than you and I.

I found great comfort in this quote by Neal A Maxwell.

"While striving to walk the same straight and narrow path as other disciples, it is unwise for us to make comparisons. Peter questioned what John was to do. Jesus' rejoinder was, 'What is that to thee? Follow thou me. ' (John 21:22.) We mortals do not have all the data even on ourselves, let alone on others. But God does. Having faith in Him includes faith in His purposes not only for ourselves but also for others. Only He who carried the great cross can fully compare crosses.

Here is another quote I love by Jeffrey R Holland.

“My beloved brothers and sisters, I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: "Did you love me?" I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all-"Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind." (Luke 10:27) And if at such a moment we can stammer out, "Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee," then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.”

"If ye love me, keep my commandments," Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can't quit and we can't go back...”

Promptings

I have noticed the promptings of the Holy Ghost more and more each day.  It is awesome!  I feel the need to record a few instances. 

This incident happened a week ago.  I had just served in the temple and the Bishop’s storehouse and I was driving in the middle lane traveling on the George Bush turnpike when a car quickly changed lanes from the left into my lane.  It was fairly quick and caused my heart to flutter a second for fear we might collide. Then once again he moved over to the lane on the right quite quickly.  I noticed the driver then took the immediate exit off the freeway.  I heard myself say, “boy, that man almost missed his exit”. 

I was amazed at how I responded.  I recall many times responding in not so generous ways and even verbally expressing discontent towards fellow drivers.  I knew that second that the Holy Ghost brought those calm words to me so I could think of that man and NOT myself in that moment.

Today, I was in my office and glanced out the window.  I noticed my neighbor finally removing branches from a tree in his front yard that had been trimmed well over a week ago.  He was loading them in the back of a pickup truck and obviously going to take it to the dumps.  The spirit prompted me to go out and help him.  I brushed it aside briefly.  I responded, “Lord, I hear you, but really I must leave in about 15 minutes to go volunteer at the school.  How much could I really get done in 15 minutes?”

The Lord didn’t accept my response to let me "off the hook" and neither did I because I did not feel justified enough to sit back down and continue reading my institute notes. 

I immediately went outside and started small talk with my neighbor as I picked up piles of brush and loaded them into his truck.  The truck was full exactly when my phone alarm went off reminding me of my assignment at the school.  I was truly amazed at how much we got done in 15 minutes.  He thanked me for my help and I headed to school and he headed to the transfer station to unload.

My assignment at the school was complete in less than an hour.  Upon returning home, my contractor had parked his truck in my driveway blocking me from entering my garage.  I pulled my van in front of my neighbors’ house since that was the only place to park and I viewed his front yard.  There was still a great deal of small pieces of twigs and branches which he mentioned he would just run over with his mower later.

 

Again, I was prompted to pick them up and dispose of them in my empty trash bin.  It took me only 10 minutes to rake them up along with all leaves into a pile and then fill my trash bin.  It felt good!

I have never served my neighbor before and all the while I worked I had feelings of glorifying my Heavenly Father.  I was acting for and in behalf of Him.  He asked and I obeyed, it was so simple.  What a great privileged and blessing that He could rely on me.  

I Will Never Be The Same

We have a family in our ward whose seventh child was born on April 9^th with congenital leukemia.  The doctor estimated that between 0.5-1lb of her 8 lb weight is leukemia cancer cells. Chemotherapy represents her best option for survival. The treatment course will likely last for months while she remains in the hospital.

Our ward members have rallied together and helped provide childcare for the six children so the parents can go to the hospital every day and meals have been provided to help assist in any way.

An on-line calendar has been created for the family to post the service opportunities.  Individuals log-in the calendar, view open opportunities and accept assignments that they can provide.  It is actually a very effective and efficient way to organize and render service for this family.

On Saturday when I logged in I noticed the task for childcare on Sunday afternoon was still available and I worried that these parents would not be able to go see their daughter unless that position was filled.  So, I accepted it with a tiny bit of reservation of not wanting to give up my quiet Sunday afternoon with my own family.

On Sunday morning right before heading to church I received a text from the coordinator asking for me to confirm that I was still available to accept the assignment to watch the six children ranging in age from 2 to 13 years in their home from 1:30 – 4:30pm.  I replied with a “Yes”.   The text that followed my response was, “the parents are not going to the hospital but are going to take advantage of that time to nap”.

My response was immediate and I started typing on my phone, “seriously?  I’m sacrificing time way from my family on the Sabbath so they can SLEEP”.  I didn't even complete that sentence before something inside of me said “Stop, don’t send that”.  I turned my phone off and walked away.

As I drove to church my emotions were whirling between anger, resentment and regret.   Anger because I think of their oldest daughter who is 13 and why can’t she help watch the little ones safe in her own home while the parents sleep upstairs; resentment because no one ever watches my children so I can take a nap; and regret because why did I accept this assignment on a Sunday when we are supposed to spend it with our own families.

As I got closer to the church I tried to push those emotions aside because I knew those feelings were not from the Lord and I couldn't enter His house with such negative feelings.  Unsuccessful to push them aside, I entered anyways because I knew I needed to be there.

I wanted to talk to a friend who could set my emotions straight and could help me refocus on what was important about service.

Or, did I want to run to a friend who would agree with my emotions and justify them so I could feel better.

As church services started my mind and heart were desperately searching for scriptures and quotes that focused on service in hopes that I could find comfort in remembering the real reason we sacrifice to serve one another regardless of the circumstances. 

Yet the ugly kept overtaking the good.  A battle was raging inside and I feared I couldn't conquer it alone.

I was expected to enter this family’s home in less than four hours and I did NOT want to enter with resentment in my heart.  It wouldn't do them any good.  I knew the family deserved better.  They were suffering with far greater afflictions than I could even imagine. 

During the sacrament, I prayed asking for the Lord’s peace to enter my heart and remove these feelings of resentment.  There was peace, yet it was soon accompanied by feelings of guilt and shame for having had the feelings.  What does that say about me when I question the reason I should sacrifice my time to help another?

Among the feelings of peace came the idea to visit with the Bishop.

“Really?”  I thought and even questioned.

I started to rationalize why I was being prompted to go to the Bishop.  He was the only safe person I could share my emotions with that wouldn't agree with me nor help me justify them.  Because they were wrong!  And I started to realize I had to confess my sin of selfishness and repent in order to have these unrighteous emotions removed.

It was a very humbling experience to enter his office and ask for a few minutes of his precious time.  I guess my emotions were written with black ink across my forehead because he immediately and graciously asked me to shut the door and invited me to sit down.

I attempted to cover my shame by covering my face as I confessed my weaknesses of selfishness, resentment and pride.  His words were simple yet so full of love and kindness.  He asked if I would like a Priesthood blessing before I left his office.  I accepted.

I left his office with a heavy burden lifted from my shoulders.  In fact, I was excited.   I hurried home and prepared a bag full of games, puzzles, activities and snacks.  I felt like a teenager preparing for her first childcare job. 

I experienced a wonderful afternoon caring for those precious children while their parents received some much needed sleep.  That family was worth every second of my time.   It may not have made a difference to them whether I was there or not.  The children could have played quietly enough those few hours so their parents could sleep.

But it made a difference to me.  I will never be the same.

"I used to think I could shape the circumstances around me,
but now I know the Lord uses circumstances to shape me."  Bob Goff

YOU ARE HIS

Six weeks ago I witnessed my father take his last breath in this mortal life.  Two hours later, I witnessed his body being wrapped and covered in white linen and taken from his beautiful home in Idaho.  I'm not sure I will ever forget that day.  His loving wife and five of his children were present at his bedside during his last moments.

My oldest sister, Debra, was traveling back to Idaho and arrived four hours later.  We tried to express the details and feelings we experienced during his last few hours to her in hopes that we could comfort her since she wasn't able to be there.

My sister felt peace in not being present for his last few hours because she had very recently spend two precious weeks with him caring for him.  She had one on one time with him by his bed asking him about his pain, asking him what she could do for him and what he needed to feel comfortable in his suffering.  And in doing so, she felt his pain and she was a witness of his great sacrifice because she had sacrificed time away from her family to spend those precious moments and days with him.

Debra said to me as I was leaving Idaho after the funeral.  "We must always remember him and we must talk about him often to remember all that he did for us".

I remember saying to myself, "How can I forget him and what he did for me.  He gave me my mortal life; he was my daddy, my protector, my provider, my spiritual adviser, my hero and my friend."

Over 2000 years ago our brother, Jesus Christ, took his last mortal breath and then his body was wrapped and covered in white linen cloth.  Like my sister, our eyes were not able to witness that solemn event.  Yet, we are so blessed to have the scriptures which are a written account from those individuals that were there to witness his suffering.  They have shared with us the account of the last few days and moments of Christ's life. They share the pain and sorrow of His death.

I have read about His death and I have heard about His suffering, yet for the longest time, I didn't feel it in my heart because I didn't believe it was meant for me.

I knew that in order for His life and death to become personal and embedded in my heart I needed to spend precious time with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  It required me to sacrifice time from those things that are selfish in nature and those things that brought me short term comfort and happiness.

Jesus' suffering and death finally came alive and personal when I decided to put my life, my pain and my sorrow aside for a while to spend precious time alone getting to know Him and focusing on His life, His pain and His sorrow that He suffered for me.  I immersed myself in trying to understand what He endured physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually from Gethsemane to the cross for me.

No matter how routine our perspective is, no matter how much we have taken Jesus' sacrifice for granted, the Holy Ghost can still make Him know to us.  I testify that when we have the desire to know Him and are willing to learn of Him, He will enter our minds and our hearts with His peace, His love and His joy.  Not as the world giveth, but only as He can give.

We have been counseled and we have covenanted to always remember Him.

How can I ever forget Him?

He gave me life when I thought my life wasn't worth living.  He gave me peace when my life was consumed with fear and doubt.  He gave me hope when everything seemed hopeless.  He lifted me from the pit of despair when all I could see was darkness.  He gave me His love when I thought all love was lost.

Jesus Christ is my Savior and my Redeemer.

There is a place in my heart that only He can fill.  There is a need in my soul that only He can succor.  There is a longing that only He can sooth.  He is always there for me.

I promise you, He will do the same for you.  YOU ARE HIS!  Of this I can testify in His name, Jesus Christ, Amen.

False Images Mercifully Shattered

Last week in institute class our teacher had us read a scripture in Alma 26, verse 22.  As he was reading that to us, I felt like there was more to that verse than we were discussing.   I was too embarrassed to ask the question.  Later, even into the next day, that verse and the question kept coming to my mind.  So I opened up my scriptures and was determined to study it more and try to find the answer myself.

“Yea, he that repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth continually without ceasing—unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God; yea, unto such it shall be given to reveal things which never have been revealed; yea, and it shall be given unto such to bring thousands of souls to repentance, even as it has been given unto us to bring these our brethren to repentance.”

Is there a word or phrase that stands out to you?

The phrase that really stood out to me was “Mysteries of God”.  How would you define mystery?  

It is defined as a religious truth or doctrine revealed only to the initiated; and made known only by divine revelation and accepted through faith.

“Only to the initiated”.  Revealed truth given only to the ONE who is seeking.  Not to a group, or an organization, or an entire church but to the individual.  Heavenly Father is a personal God who reveals His mysteries one on one. 

So who was the “one” individual who was speaking in this verse?  I didn’t know, so I went back to the heading of the chapter and found it was Ammon.

What do you know about Ammon?  Who was he?  What did he do?  (He was one of the four sons of Mosiah and a friend of Alma the younger. Rebel then a convert)

In this chapter, Ammon and his brethren proposed to take the Anti-Nephi-Lehies to Zarahemla, and Ammon prayed to know if this was the Lord’s desire.  He was instructed to return to Zarahemla with his brothers and the Anti-Nephi-Lehies.  On their journey to Zarahemla, do you remember who they encountered?  (Alma)

They were overjoyed to see each other again.  Ammon was so full of joy over the missionary success among the Lamanites and how the Lord had truly been blessing them in their efforts.  Ammon was even accused of boasting.  Yet, he made it clear he wasn’t boasting in his own strengths, but in the Lord’s strength and mercy. (verses 11-12)

Here on this road, Ammon was reunited after quite some time of separation with his once “buddy in crime”, Alma. 

Let’s read what Ammon chose to talk about with Alma.  Start in verse 17: 

17 “Who could have supposed that OUR GOD (Interesting? The God they knew then in their rebel days. They created an image in their minds of who God was) would have been so merciful as to have snatched us from our awful, sinful, and polluted state?”  (They were shocked that God was merciful to them)

18 “we went forth even in wrath, with mighty threatening to destroy his church”.

Alma, Ammon and his brothers were rebels, they became wicked and idolatrous men, stealing away the hearts of the people, causing much dissension among the people.  They had full intention of destroying God’s church.

19 “why did he (GOD) not consign us to an awful destruction, yea, why did he not let the sword of his justice fall upon us, and doom us to eternal despair?”  (“Our” God would have destroyed us)

20 “Oh, my soul, almost as it were, fleeth at the thought” (even just thinking about what God should have, could have done to them makes Ammon want to shutter)  “Behold, he did not exercise his justice upon us, but in his great mercy hath brought us over that everlasting gulf of death and misery, even to the salvation of our souls.”

Ammon is reminiscing about how their idol God should have consigned them to an awful destruction, their God should have allowed them to die because of their sins, their God could have exercised justice upon them, yet He didn’t.  Those were all the false impression and beliefs Ammon had created in his mind of who God was.  Ammon thought God was a punishing, destructive, just God with no mercy when it comes to sinners. 

But, then Ammon discovered God and realized the true God wasn’t who he thought he was.

How did Ammon discover the one and only true God?

In verse 22, Ammon shares that through “repenteth and exerciseth faith, and bringeth forth good works, and prayeth continually without ceasing – unto such it is given to know the mysteries of God”.  God revealed His true identity to Ammon through Ammon’s willingness to repent, show faith, good works and prayer.

The mystery of God’s true identity will be revealed to us through the learning process of repentance, faith, good works and prayer. His true character is made known to us as we do those things not because we do those things like a reward to us.

I love this quote by C.S. Lewis;

 Every image of Him we create,

 He must in mercy, shatter

Just like Ammon, I subconsciously created false images of who God was. I created an image of my Heavenly Father by the relationship of those people that were close to me. My father, for instance, was a demanding father. He was quick to punish and his punishment was hard.  He wasn’t around very much because he was diligently trying to provide for a large family.  I turned to him only when I needed money, to borrow the car or to fix some equipment that was part of my chores. I have come to realize that the image I created of my Heavenly Father was very similar to my relationship with my father.

I was afraid that God would treat me harshly when I made a mistake. I didn’t trust or have faith in him because I doubted whether or not I was important or worthy of his love. I wondered if he would be there to hear my prayers. I only turned to my Heavenly Father when I needed help, I called them my 911 calls (prayers). 

Can you think of other false images of Heavenly Father that we might create in our minds from relationships or experiences?

What about the parent that protects you from everything?  Who comes to your rescue all the time?  Who doesn’t let anything bad happen to you?  Do you think subconsciously the child believes “Heavenly Father won’t let anything bad happen to me”.

Then later in life, the child is now a teenager or adult and he experiences a terrible trial like losing his job, accident, injury or death of family member etc. and he doesn’t know how to handle it.  In his mind, he is thinking “I can’t possibly turn to Heavenly Father because He didn’t protect me” or  “He can’t be God because “my” God wouldn’t let that happen.” 

Can you see how Heavenly Father has to shatter every image we create of Him and can you sense how He does it?

I have a friend who at the age of 14 years old, his father picked up and left, abandoning his wife and children.  There was nothing he could do that could convince his father to come home.  My friend was raised in the church, served a mission, married in the temple and they have four children.  Ten years ago my friend lost his job, couldn’t find work so they lost their home, had to claim bankruptcy and moved in with her parents for a little while so they could get back on their feet.  Unfortunately, my friend hasn’t been back to church since and his wife is left raising their children in the gospel alone. 

Do you think my friend believes Heavenly Father abandoned him too just like his earthly father?

Do you think I set out in life to create false images of Heavenly Father?   NO!

Do you think I consciously knew I had created false images of who God was?   NO! 

Could it be possible that you have created some false images of your Heavenly Father?

How do you think these false images affected the way I worshipped?

Sure, I knew the church was true.  I was raised in the Gospel.  I did my best to keep the commandments.  I watched my daddy serve in callings at church, even Bishop for a good part of my childhood.  Yet dad acted different at home.  Appearance seemed to be very important. So I dressed my family up each Sunday so they looked their best.  I served in the callings the Lord gave me.  I volunteered here and there and everywhere I could.  I worked my tail off trying to please Heavenly Father, to earn His approval, to earn His acceptance. 

But keeping up that appearance of, “Tresa, can do it all.  Tresa, the overachiever” was killing me physically and mentally.  I felt drained and empty inside.  I wasn’t feeling any closer to my Heavenly Father by doing it all.

I wanted to just give up!  At this time of my life I really asked myself, “So where is God?”  “Is He even there?”

I finally decided to pray to find out, “God, are you there?”  No answer came, nothing.  No bright lights, no burning feelings…nothing. 

I felt disappointed and even a little angry.  I had learned to deal with the feelings of being punished by God, but this felt different.  This was abandonment. 

It was a very humbling experience to feel so utterly alone.  I realized I couldn’t survive on my own.  I needed help.

I thought more about my situation and realized I had not read my scriptures, pondered and prayed as diligently as I could.

One day a friend of mine invited me to institute class.  I learned firsthand that when we are humble, we are teachable.  I felt every lesson was meant for me.  The lessons helped me recognize what was inside of me.  Who I am and what I am here for.  I learned a great deal about my Savior.  And I realized that I didn’t really know Him nor did I have a personal relationship with Him.  I came to know that Heavenly Father hadn’t abandoned me, that I had abandoned Him. 

I was hearing the same gospel principles that I’d heard all my life, but this time it was different.  This time I was getting it.  I was feeling the Holy Ghost testifying of the truthfulness of what I was hearing. 

What do you think was the difference now as I attend these church meetings from when I had the past 39 years?

What is this?

What is the purpose of a ladder?

What is this?

What is the purpose of this track?

They look the same, don’t they? The only difference is the direction they are headed.  I was on the right track, moving along full speed.  I covered lots of territory and I didn’t venture off the track much.  But, my focus was in the wrong direction.  I had no idea, my family and my friends had no idea that I was going in the wrong direction because from appearance the ladder and the track look the same. 

I was trying to earn God’s love, earn his attention and earn his approval.  Once my perspective changed, I started to change.

The truths I was learning caught fire in me and I was thirsting for more truth and more knowledge.  I started a quest of reading and praying more diligently to get to know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  I will never forget the feeling I had when the teacher bore testimony that Heavenly Father knew me personally and loved me personally and I started to recognize that this was a “new” God.  I had, up until that point, believe in my father’s God, my mother’s God and my husband’s God.  All of them acting and behaving according to their own image of who God was.  I was determined to stop the cycle.

I knew I needed to gain my own individual personal testimony of the one and only true God and make Him mine. 

Thus began the process of allowing God in His mercy to shatter the false images I had created of Him in my subconscious mind.  And it has been a process; an ongoing and continual process because I’m still learning and gaining knowledge about God, the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.  I have an open and honest relationship with my Heavenly Father and I trust Him with my life.

I am not going to say it has been easy, but I can honestly say I know the meaning of the scripture found in Matthew chapter 11. 

 28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

So why didn’t Heavenly Father answer me the 1^st time I prayed asking Him if He was there?

If He had, would I have ever studied, prayed, served, worked and learned as much as I have?

Am I earning His love?  Earning His attention?  Earning His approval? 

No, now I am learning!!

Would you have ever learned to walk if your mom carried you in her arms all day long?  Would you have ever learned how to swim if your father was still holding your head above water?

God’s delays are not always denials.  He tests our faith, but by doing so He educates it.  A God who asks nothing of us is making nothing of us, and that is not the case.  He created us to become like Him.

I’m reading a great book by Brad Wilcox called The Continuous Conversion.

I love these quotes and can truly relate. 

“Heavenly Father’s plan is called the great plan of happiness.  And happiness is found not merely by making the grade so we can be advanced from one estate to another.  It is found by gaining an education all along the way.”

 “Our ultimate goal is not just coming to Christ but becoming like Him.  Our coming to Him allows Him to help make the rest of the journey possible.” 

“Mortality is a time of probation, but also a time of preparation.  Heaven is not a prize for the perfect, but the future home of all who are willing to be perfected.”

 “We don’t pray because we’re worthy, we pray because we need help.  We don’t take the sacrament because we are perfect, but because we are willing to be perfected.  We don’t go to the temple because we’ve made it (we passed the exam), we go because God is making us better there.” 

I know when I hear those lists of “to dos” like read daily, pray daily, serve, visiting teaching, FHE and I am not doing them all perfectly, it’s hard not to get discouraged and be tempted to give up.  Heavenly Father doesn’t judge us by what we have done or haven’t done like they balance on a scale.  I believe Heavenly Father cherishes us for what He created us to BECOME and what we’ve learned along the journey to get there.

My goal is to become like Christ. I learn how to become like Christ by reading my scripture, attending church, praying and doing good works. I don’t earn Christ and His Atonement. He is a gift; not a free gift because Christ paid a huge price for our salvation, but a gift given freely to each of us by our loving and perfect Heavenly Father and Christ’s willingness to sacrifice for us.

I can honestly say from my personal experience that true conversion occurs when we stop trying to earn our way to heaven and start trying to learn it.

I tried to think back through my conversion and remember what was the most important thing I did that taught me God’s true character and taught me who I could become?

I remembered my institute teacher giving the class a challenge a couple years ago.  It was called the “Educate My Desire” 30 day prayer challenge.  

He introduced it as a way of allowing the Lord to educate you in what He desires you to become.  Asking the Lord with an honest, willing heart and with pure intent, “I don’t know what I want or need, educate me of your desires for me”.

What does a willing heart mean?  (Willing to do my best at everything that the Lord asks of me)  

What does pure intent mean?  (Not doing it for social gain, economic gain, approval, acceptance but to learn how to become heavenly)

Educate My Desire

30 day prayer challenge

1) Primarily express gratitude, asking for very little.

2) Explain that “all I want is what you want”.

3) Ask, “what is it you want me to do”?

4) Listen for the guidance

I have to admit, the first time I accepted the challenge I didn’t last the entire 30 days.  Even the 2^nd time he questioned us and asked how we were doing, I hadn’t felt successful to stick with it for 30 days. I know it’s because I didn’t fully trust Him at the time.  I still had false images that needed to be shattered. 

Yet, with time after many trials and struggles teaching me to trust Him, I can testify that even the short amount of consistent days focusing on this prayer, changed me.  He taught me how to pray, how to surrender, and how to rest with Him.

I can testify that God has mercifully shattered the false images I created of Him.  And through the learning process of discovering the mysteries of God, He also shattered the false images I had created of myself and my earthy father.  

I am truly blessed to have had my spiritual awakening when I did so I could go to my father and explain all that I just shared with you. My dad is not responsible for the false images I created in my mind. I unintentionally created them because I lacked a personal and intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I know the one and only true God.  He is the Father of our spirits and by His authority His Son, Jesus Christ created each of us to become like Him.  I know that Jesus Christ lives and He is our Savior and Redeemer.  He loves each and every one of us.  I have experienced both His redeeming power and His enabling power.  I can testify that these powers are real and available to you.  Reach out to Him, get to know Him.  I promise that you will not be disappointed.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Learn Heaven

Last night I attended the Pathway program institute class.   I didn’t enroll in the program yet I have been attending as a visitor because I enjoy learning from the Book of Mormon and from the amazing teacher. 

The discussion was on the life of Jesus Christ and all he accomplished during his visit to the American continent. 

I can’t remember exactly how, however, the responses spurred up a discussion of feeling “burned out”.  One sister expressed how all the pressure from school, work, and home is causing her to burn out and she wonders if she can carry on.

I waited for several comments, but the yearning to speak up kept coming.  So I finally raised my hand and I said something like this, “listening to your comments has brought back memories of when I was your age.  I didn’t realize at the time, but for most of my life I felt I needed to “earn my way to heaven”.  I worked hard at everything I did.  I took on more and more things as if to prove my worth.  I even involved my family in more and more things because they reflected me.  But keeping up that appearance of, ‘I can do it all’ was killing me physically and mentally.  I wasn’t feeling any closer to my Heavenly Father by doing it all.” 

I didn’t really know what to say next.  All I could say was.  “I know what the scriptures have told us regarding ‘God’s rest’, because I am finally living with Him in my life and it's restful.” 

I wasn’t content with what I said.  I felt there was so much more I could elaborate on as to how I was able to find God’s peace and rest.

So, on the way home and lying in bed, I kept thinking of what I should have… could have said that would have made more of an impact.  How I could have helped them more.

This morning I received a new book on my Kindle from Brad Wilcox, titled “The Continuous Conversion”.  I forgot I had pre-ordered it so I was excited to have something new to read while I walked on the treadmill.

From the very beginning he talks about the exact thing that was discussed at institute class and I again was reminded of all that I have felt and known to be true, yet just fail to find the right words when needed.

Br. Wilcox put it this way, “True conversion occurs when we stop trying to earn heaven and start trying to learn it.”

“We are learning heaven.  As we take each little step to show faith, repent, make and live covenants, seek the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end, we are not paying our way into heaven.  We are practicing for it.”

“If the whole goal is just to be with God, why did we leave?  We were with Him, but we were also painfully aware that we were not like Him physically or spiritually.  We were willing to enter mortality because we knew that through the Atonement we could learn to be like Him.  One of the miracles of the Atonement is not just that we can go home, but that we can feel at home there.”

“Conversion occurs when we stop focusing so much on earning the hereafter but instead reexamine what we are really here after.  Conversion deepens as we understand the purposes and power of God and recognize how freely He offers His help.  This knowledge gives us the reasons we must go through so much and the ability to endure without giving up.”

Those quotes are just a few that I highlighted in the first chapter of Brad Wilcox’s new book.   I read all these amazing words and I envy the way people can put their testimony into words and have the courage to share it. 

I struggle greatly to share even though I do have a desire to teach what I have learned and how that knowledge has changed me.

I have spent the past several years learning and gaining knowledge, why am I not able to speak freely about what I learned?  Why can’t I teach and write like so many others that I just love learning from?  Why couldn’t I say what I really knew and felt last night.  Why do I fear the spoken words have to come out perfect or else don’t speak them which is what I always choose to do, is keep silent?  Why do I feel the words out of my mouth represent me instead of who planted those thoughts and truth in me?

Instead, I keep repeating in my head what I SHOULD have said.

A sweet and comforting thought came to my mind.  “Tresa, you are still learning, conversion is a continual process”.  It was very humbling to hear.  As I heard those words, I finished that thought with my own words, “I’m still a student learning, therefore, I am not a teacher yet”. 

I want to be a teacher.  I want to share with others how the power of God’s love and Christ’s Atonement has changed my life.

In that institute class I was surrounded by people all under the age of 30.  If I knew then at their age what I know now at my age of 42, my life would have been…..simpler.  

Oh, how I yearn to share my testimony and help others.

After I finished my work out on the treadmill, I immediately got down on my knees and I shared my desire with Heavenly Father.  I apologized for not sharing more of what I felt and what I have learned with those around me.  I expressed my gratitude for His sweet reminder that I am still learning and that my conversion will continue step by step. 

I believe Heavenly Father is reminding me of a couple things.  First is patience.  The second thing is that it’s not about me. 

When I want to speak or I’m asked to speak, it’s not about how eloquent the words come out so I can prove myself and my knowledge.   If I’m only speaking up in class to receive approval and acceptance, then I’m not saying anything worth listening to.  I am not the work that is on display.  He is.

I have been humbled.

Ronald Samuel Dean A "Giant" of a Man

I am on my flight home from McCall, Idaho; the town I call home, the town where my father’s body was laid to rest in the cold winter ground just two days ago.

I am sitting in the middle seat of the plane with empty seats on both sides of me.  I have never felt so alone.

I miss my Daddy!

The days following my father’s death were filled with planning and organizing.  We had a funeral to plan, a life sketch and an obituary to write, travel arrangements to organize and decisions that I never thought I would have to make.  This “busyness” filled practically every minute of the days before his funeral.

It’s hard not to feel guilty as some moments of planning were filled with laughter.  We were reminiscing and telling stories of dad and the laughter overcame us.  At the time, the laughter felt like it was healing.  Yet, now I can’t seem to find any reason to laugh.

My heart only wants to ache.

The thought of my father’s still, lifeless body buried beneath the cold frozen soil has left a void in my life.  An empty spot that I know nothing or no one can fill.

My sister and I visited his resting spot in the ground today before I left to return to Texas.  Fresh brown dirt covers the rectangular spot surrounded by piles of white snow.  My heart urged me to get down on my knees and start to dig.  I wanted to find him.  I want to lie next to him like I did so many times while I was caring for him during his final days. 

I would listen to his sporadic breathing as his spirit was fighting for life in a body that was taking it.

I know about the Plan of Salvation.  I know my father’s body and spirit will be reunited at the Second Coming of our Lord.  I know I will see my father again and be reunited for all eternity.  I have been given a glimpse of his mission in the spirit world; so why?  Why do I struggle to let him go?  Things will never be the same.  I don’t want to accept that.

I don’t have to let go, do I?  Why does my mind tell me I have to let go so my heart will stop hurting?

The memories of my dad will never cease.  The love I feel for my father will never die.

My husband was there at the airport to pick me up when I arrived back in Texas.  He and my two sons came for the funeral.  They were only there one full day and that was the day of the viewing, the funeral, the burial and the family luncheon.  There was no time that day to barely even talk to my husband.  

We finally have time together and he starts asking me questions on the ride home.  Questions about my mother, questions about my father’s last days, questions that I could only muster a short response.   

My mind wanted to tell him to “stop asking questions” because it hurts.  I suppressed the urge to tell him to quit, I took a deep breath, and my heart was reminded that “he was hurting too”.  I forgot that my husband lost a fishing companion, a skiing buddy, a fellow hiker, a father-n-law and a friend.

He must have felt my pain because the questioning ceased and it was silent the rest of the way home.  

Why does it hurt so much now to talk about my Dad?

My sister told me before I left that “we must always remember him”.  She said, “Dad would want us to talk about him to remember him”.

How can I ever forget him?  He was my daddy, my father, my protector, my provider, my spiritual advisor, my hero, my friend.

May I share him with you? 

This is the life sketch we, my mom and siblings, wrote together that my brother read at his funeral.

Our father, Ron Dean, was born on Oct. 20^th 1938 to Leatha and Adrion Dean.  He was the 6^th of 10 children and grew up in North Ogden, Utah.  He graduated from Weber State College with a bachelor’s degree in Education.

He served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Central States mission.  He always loved to serve others and continued to serve many people in many ways throughout his life. 

Dad and Mom were married and sealed for all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple in September 1963.  (This year they would have celebrated their 50^th wedding anniversary)  Their wedding day was extra special because both mom’s parents and dad’s parents were also sealed to each other this same day.  

They had seven children, Debra, James, Tina, Tresa, Cory, Troy, and David; as well as 6 foster children over the years; and they now have 22 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild.

Dad loved variety and adventure in life so he wore many hats during his working years.  He taught school in McCall, Council and also in Nogales, AZ; a mile from the border of Mexico.  He worked as a Hot Shot crew leader at the Burgdorf Ranger Station, a logging truck driver, a bank assistant manager, a hospital administrator, an escrow officer, a realtor, a carpet cleaner, and a maintenance man for Aspen Village Condominiums.

Dad worked hard at whatever he did throughout his career and he made sure he did it well; and most importantly to him, he became friends with many people along the way.

One of Dad’s first and favorite jobs was spending a summer on a fire lookout at 10,000 feet elevation overlooking the Sawtooth and Whitecloud mountains near Stanley, Idaho.  Later in life, after hearing that U.S. Forest Service planned to demolish this lookout, Dad volunteered to restore and maintain it so that future generations could enjoy the beauty that he enjoyed there.  There were many scouts and family who had the privilege of hiking into the lookout and participating in this effort with him.

Photo by Greg Stahl

Dad loved being in the outdoors!  During the last few years, Dad packed thousands of fingerling fish into many local alpine lakes to restock them for future fishermen. 

Dad loved the scouting program and was a scout leader many times over the years.  He taught a lot of boys to love and respect the outdoors.  He lead scout troops from many parts of the state to alpine lakes that he loved and enjoyed so much.  Dad was awarded the Silver Beaver scouting award for over 36 years of dedicated service to the scouting program.

Dad also extended his service to the communities in which we resided.  He was often involved in wood-cutting projects, snow-removal projects, cooking at community breakfasts, organizing parades, building snow sculptures, launching rockets, and many others.  He was awarded ‘Man of the Year’ from the Chamber of Commerce for his exemplar service to the community of Council.

Dad's woodpile shows his character

Dad loved to ski, snowshoe, and snowmobile in the winter and he loved to hike, fish and hunt the rest of the year.  Dad has hiked to 100s of different Alpine lakes in the Idaho mountains and has introduced hundreds of scouts, friends, and family members to many of these beautiful areas.

Dad had cancer surgery last May to remove a melanoma tumor in his lung.  Despite the loss of one lobe of his lung, he was still able to hike to eight lakes this past summer to stock fish and also took a trip to the back country of Alaska with my husband where he brought home a supply of salmon, rockfish and halibut.

Unfortunately, melanoma cancer struck again this Fall and this time it spread vigorously and by the end of January it was apparent that the only treatments available were unable stop the spread and destruction of this cancer.

Dad has left us with so many memories besides those that have already been mentioned.  We thought we would share a list of some of our favorites that I’m sure many of you have shared as well:

Building a backyard playground of swings of every kind, zip-lines, trails and a tree house for all to enjoy

Dad many years ago

Dad 2 years ago getting a good start from the ladder

Building and launching model rockets

Searching for and retreiving model rockets

Maintaining sledding runs at his place and inviting everyone to enjoy day or night

Showing others his favorite fishing holes, whether it was a 5 minute walk or a death defying climb

Picking huckleberries and sharing his famous huckleberry shakes

Photo by Rob Hilton

Sharing his hard earned gardening secrets including how to grow some of the best raspberry bushes around

Elk photos, deer photos, fox photos….more elk photos, deer photos, fox photos and an occasional picture of a grandchild

Fishing and hiking in Polyester Pants

Homemade Rocking Horses

Slingshot wars

Homemade Leather belts & moccasins

Duct tape Mechanics

Decorating with glued together puzzles

 “Secret” lakes that he takes everyone to

The nickname Chipmunk which was given to him when he drove logging trucks

Four Course Campfire Breakfasts

Hash brown potatoes with cheese

Bananas, Bananas and dried bananas

Never Sitting Still….our “Energizer Bunny”

John Wayne Movies and pictures with his life-sized John Wayne stand up

Cross country bushwhacking even when there is a trail

Dutch oven cooking

Fishing here, fishing there, fishing, fishing EVERYWHERE

Pegs and Jokers
Elephant ball rolling game

Never Lost, just misplaced for a short time

Snow caves

“Just one more ski run”

Ladder Ball game also known as red neck golf

Horseshoes and croquet

Sourdough pancakes

Scrapbook pages of deer, elk, bear and fish and occasionally a grandchild

Successful blooming Amaryllis

Campfire S’mores

Planting and pressing wildflowers

Nerf guns

Blackberry picking in Riggins

Canoeing…..

 ……..and last but not least

Its just over the next hill…its just 1 more mile…its  just over the next ridge

Dad celebrated his love of life and love of God’s beautiful creations with everyone he knew.  

Mom kept a little notebook next to her bed and she would write down her thoughts as they came to her at night.  One recent entry she wrote the following about her beloved Ron, “I’m thankful to my Father in Heaven that He let us be together into what they call the Golden Years, because it’s when all the pressures of life have passed and when you really learn to love each other, with a love that will last forever.”

At my Dad's funeral we had a display of his handcrafted scrapbook for everyone to look at.  Have you ever known a man to scrapbook?  He enjoyed it and did a great job.

He was also known for his rocket building and launching.  It's been a tradition in McCall that on the 4th of July dad would launch several of his rockets.  The ward created a letter and plaque that was presented to him about 2 weeks ago. 

Plaque for Ron Dean: "In Appreciation of your Decades of Selfless Service to the Community of McCall, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and to the The Boy Scouts of America" The plaque was to honor him for all his service he has done for so many.

In addition to the plaque was a letter.

"To the Ron Dean Family,
It is no secret that Ron has always felt deeply his gift and responsibility to affect the lives around him, especially those of young men, by teaching the simplest and most important of gospel values.
He has been drawn to young men like bees to blooming clover, and because of that sincere,heartfelt desire to help them become strong, good men; has singularly blessed dozens of lives for the good.
It  has been decided that the traditional fourth of July breakfast, which Ron has been such an integral part of for two decades, should, in his honor, be named as the "Ron Dean Memorial 4th of July Breakfast". This is so that the principles that Ron has endeavored so diligently to teach can perpetuate on to future generations, and that those who have received so deeply from Ron over the years will remember the source of some of their greatest blessings.
With deepest gratitude and appreciation,
Bishop Josh Jones and Bishop David Holland"

We had the letter and plaque on display at his funeral

Another display of scout awards, family and a newspaper article written about Dad

Dad's coffin was handcrafted by a family in their ward.

Per my father's request, we also had a table of Book of Mormons for anyone to take one if they felt so inspired.  Dad had an impact on the entire community!  There were 10 Book of Mormon's given out at his funeral.

I had the pleasure of bringing my father home from the hospital back in May after his surgery to remove the tumor in his lung.  Upon arriving home we were pleasantly surprised to see many of his friends standing outside in the rain lining both side of the driveway to welcome him home.  It was a very emotional homecoming.  Dad has so many amazing friends.  

Thank you for allowing me to share my amazing father with you through this post.

It has been quite healing.