Sixteen Small Stones

You my loyal followers have probably noticed that I have not written a post in over a week.  This really has bothered me.  Everything I have posted so far, Heavenly Father inspired and prompted me to write.  It is really amazing how He provides the inspiration and topics to write about.  Yet, after my “anxiety attack” and my battle with the adversary nothing seems to be coming to me anymore.  I’ve asked myself, “Does Heavenly Father not trust me anymore?  Or could it be that I don’t trust which voice is His anymore?”  I am certain I know the difference, yet I find myself in a battle once again within my mind…...forgetting to listen to my heart.

There is so much I would like to write about.  But, it’s not supposed to be about me.  The blog was intended to Glorify God, not me.  I am praying and asking Him what He wants me to write.  Yet……Silence.

Today, I reached out to my dear husband and a trusted friend asking them, “what is wrong with me, why can’t I write?”

Heavenly Father provided my answer through those individuals in my life.  Mortal beings provide the voice of reason when our spiritual ears are blocked by the adversaries darts of fear and doubt.

My husband reminded me of a quote from one of the General Authorities about how sometimes when the path is not lit and we are unsure of which way to go, we may need to walk in the dark a couple of steps before the path becomes clear.  I understood that to mean; A few steps in and the trail becomes clear.  Therefore, my husband was telling me, “Tresa, go ahead, just sit down, begin to write from your heart and the spirit will lighten your mind to know what direction to take”. 

Interesting enough that was the same advice my friend gave me. “My thoughts are that you MUST continue to write.  When you share the personal struggles as well as the triumphs, we can relate and realize we are never alone!  I think you need to press forward and write, write, write……YOU CAN DO IT!”

What would we do without our loving family and friends to motivate us to action?!

I was also reminded of a recent Relief Society meeting where the guest speaker was teaching us to always take what we have to the Lord and He will magnify it.  He shared the scripture story of Mahonri Moriancumer better known as the Brother of Jared in Ether 2.  The brother of Jared had followed the command from God to build barges for their journey to a promised land. 

In verse 18, “And it came to pass that the brother of Jared cried unto the Lord, saying:  O Lord, I have performed the work which thou hast commanded me, and I have made the barges according as thou hast directed me.”  Verse 19, “And behold, O Lord, in them there is no light; whither shall we steer?  And also we shall perish, for in them we cannot breathe, save it is the air which is in them; therefore we shall perish.”

Once the barges were completed he recognized they were missing a way to receive light, a way of steering and a way to breathe air inside the vessel. 

After asking the Lord those questions, the brother of Jared was instructed to make a hole in the top and bottom to receive air and that they didn’t need a way to steer the barges because He would command the winds and the storms of the sea to direct their way to the Promised Land. 

What I find interesting is the Lord didn’t answer his question about the light?  Instead in verse 23 he answered his question with a question, “And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared:  What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels?.....what would I prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?”

The Lord is telling the brother of Jared to think of a solution to your light problem and then come to me for what I can do for you to make it happen. 

Is that not what I have tried to do?  Heavenly Father asked me to create this blog to help myself and others to reach the "Promised Land" of peace, comfort, understanding and healing.  I did what He asked me to do.  He provided the inspiration and words to uplift and encourage thus far.  Now, when I come to the Lord asking Him to provide me with more light and knowledge it’s like He is answering me back with a question.  

What do you have to offer, what can you create and what can you write so that I can bring My Light to those that follow you?  Dear child, bring what little you have to offer and I will magnify it and multiply it for good.

And that is what the brother of Jared did.  In Chapter 3 verse 1-2 “And it came to pass that the brother of Jared went forth unto the mount and did molten out of rock sixteen small stones; and they were white and clear, even as transparent glass; and he did carry them in his hands upon the top of the mount, and cried again unto the Lord, saying:”

I like that he “created” something to bring to the Lord.  The brother of Jared had an idea and he went forward and molted “created” stones out of rock.  He created some simple little white clear stones to take to the Lord as an offering, believing the Lord could do something with them to create light for the barges.

The next several verses the brother of Jared seeks forgiveness first. I will paraphrase; O Lord, do not be angry with me because of my weaknesses.  I know I am unworthy before thee.  O Lord, look upon me with pity, and turn away thine anger and suffer not that we shall go across the deep sea in darkness; but behold these things which I have molten out of the rock. O Lord, touch these stones with thy finger and prepare them that they may shine forth in darkness that we may have light while we shall cross the sea.

This next verse I love because it shows how much faith and trust the brother of Jared had in God.  Verse 5:  “Behold, O Lord thou canst do this.  We know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of men.”

What amazing faith!  I understand now that is what I was lacking during my “writers block”.  I lacked the faith necessary to bring what I had to the Lord believing that He would touch it and bring forth light unto others.

And we know how it ends, the Lord did stretch forth his hand and touched the stones one by one with his finger and they provided light.  However, that is not all the Lord did for the brother of Jared.  Because of his exceeding faith the Lord showed his whole self unto him; his entire being not just his finger and continued to show unto him great and marvelous things concerning the Kingdom of God. 

Wow!  As I just now read those scriptures again, there is something else that stands out to me.

Verse 9, “Because of thy faith thou has seen that I shall take upon me flesh and blood; and never has man come before me with such exceeding faith as thou hast; for were it not so ye could not have seen my finger. Sawest thou more than this?” The Lord is asking him, “Do you want to see more of me?”

The Lord draws us to Him with questions.  “Do you want me to be a part of your life?  Do you want my peace?  Do you want to know what true joy feels like?  Do you believe the words which I speak?  Do you want to see, hear and feel more of me?  Do you want to be in my presence again?” 

What is your answer?  How are you responding to His call to Come Unto Me?